Stop Getting in the Way of Your Own Happiness

Source: etsy.com via Rachel on Pinterest

I have made big changes to my life these past few months that have brought me back to a place where I can marvel over what each day will bring and lately I look to the future with wide eyed wonder. This whole summer I have seen the beauty of my City of Angels with fresh eyes and have a new found appreciation for the people who wander its streets every day. Every face has a story and every street has been witness to a kiss, a tear or an embrace that has marked some one's existence. Life can be mundane and routine and it is moments such as these that make us who we are and if we are lucky they transform us and bring us closer to becoming the people we were meant to be. If we are too busy worrying about the superfluous nuisances of  life we will cease to exist in the moment and before long we will stop appreciating the beauty that is all around us.

I am saying this to myself because I have difficulties enjoying the moment. It has always felt like living in the moment was a dangerous way to exist after all it was planning for the future that helped me survive the insanity that followed my parents divorce and the instability of my teens and early 20's. I always looked to a brighter future when things weren't great because at times it felt like it was the only way to get through the uncertainty of life. The problem is that I became stuck there in a mindset that can only look to the future, and while hope is definitely what sustained me in difficult time it also made me unable to enjoy the present. I know im not the only one that suffers from this mentality, it plagues many of us. I call it the glass half empty problem, It goes something like this- "when I have that degree I will be happy," "when I buy that new gadget I will be happy," "when I get that promotion I will be happy." It took me a long time to accept that this is my life, LIKE RIGHT NOW! It's not starting tomorrow or when I lose 20 pounds.

Here are my tips to discovering bits of hapiness everyday:

1) Talk to Strangers- I know it goes against everything we were told when we were kids. But trust me every person you encounter has a story to tell, I just met a girl who visited Cancun and fell in love with the people and the place. She wasn't unhappy with her life here in the U.S but she had stopped enjoying herself and was in "the safety zone" with her job and in everything else. She saved up some many and moved to Cancun within a few months of visiting. She told me how in her new life everyday is an adventure and she feels more alive than she had in a long time. She took a leap of faith that inspired me to make sure that I find something to be amazed by everyday even within the boundaries of my hometown. On the plus side she also fell in love with a local four months after arriving there! People want to share their story you just have to ask them about it and you will be surprised at what you can learn from them and how it can inspire your own life. On the flip side, people want to hear what you have to say too, when is the last time you spoke to a new person? Made a new friend or even re-connected with an old one?

2) Look Around You- Yeah, that means look away from your phone and up at the sky, a tree, a sunset whatever. It sounds stupid but once you start to think about it you realize how we hardly every do that.  I think I went years without appreciating the peacefulness of a summer night. Even in the grand city that is LA we can find bits of nature that help us connect with the part of our humanity that can get lost in the urban jungle. I sat on a swing set in a park a few weeks ago and looked up at the trees and the few stars that the pollution allows to come through and had the most amazing time sitting there contemplating where I have been and for the first time ever appreciating not having a flow chart to map where i'm going next.

3) See the World Through the Eyes of Another- If you're as lucky as I am you already have special people in your life that can help you appreciate things that you may not notice on your own. It can be music, it can be a piece of art, or even a funny commercial. Observe the passions of others and you may find beauty in unexpected places. I was in West Hollywood recently and caught a glimpse of this magnficient mural by Shepard Fairey.

You've seen his work as he is the creative force behind the now widely know Barack Obama "HOPE" poster. but then thanks to the person I was with I actually went up close and actually took a moment to appreciate it and noticed the slight imperfections that made the piece authentic and I couldn't help but admire the countless hours that are put into a piece of this magnitude. My ephiphany for that moment was that even the most beautiful things have slight flaws that dont necessarily make them any less amazing but they do make them unique.

4) Find "Your Thing"- Writing has helped me see the world through different eyes and to look within to answer the questions that at first I thought would be answered by external sources. When I first started writing I was overly concerned with my audience and my writing had to have a purpose and my lack of posts this summer is a testament to said insecurity. I now realize that writing for me is much more selfish pursuit as it allows me to make sense of my thoughts and actions. I have since started journaling much more often and writing down thoughts or a even a music lyric that touches me in a particular way. We aren't all writers but we all have "our outlet." I encourage you to find yours and it will change your life.

Lets all stop waiting for our lives to begin and stop getting in the way of our own hapiness. I am trying something new lately, I am letting my heart lead the way.
Wish me Luck!

xoxo
Betsy Aimee

Eastside Career Chic in The Daily Muse: Is Your Hair in Between Washes? No Problem!

We all have those days when our hair just won’t do what it’s supposed to. Or when we’re so busy meeting deadlines (and, let’s be honest, friends for happy hour) that spending an hour shampooing and blow drying in the morning just isn’t going to happen.

Truth is, we could all use some tips on how to deal with a bad hair day that don’t involve hiding out in a cubicle. So we turned to YouTube’s best beauty vloggers for some inspiration, and found seven styles that’ll spruce up your look and let you get out the door with plenty of time to still grab a latte. But be warned: They’re so awesome, you may want to wear them on good hair days, too!

1. The Simple Updo

This everyday updo, courtesy of Wendy’s Lookbook, requires only a few hair clips and a few minutes! It works best on medium-long, fine hair that hasn’t been washed in a few days—the oils in your hair will give the style more texture, and that “I look cute but didn’t try too hard” look.

Perfect for: Those mornings when you hit the snooze button one too many times.

What You Need: A hairbrush, 2 hair clips, a few bobby pins, and 2 elastic hair bands.

 Read the rest of this article at The Daily Muse

Movie Review: What We Can Learn From Girl in Progress

Thanks to Latina Bloggers Connect I received an invitation to attend a screening of “Girl in Progress.”  It had been a long time since I was so moved by a film and so immediately invested in the characters.  The story demonstrates the complex nature of mother/daughter relationships but it also demonstrates how our relationships with family, friends and ourselves are constantly evolving.  Eva Mendez and Sierra Ramirez gave life to beautifully written characters under the direction of Patricia Riggen.  As a Latina I cannot help but feel incredibly proud of this movie, but the message it leaves the audience with transcends ethnic boundaries.

The movie focuses on a young girl and her desire to separate from her mother by eliciting her “coming of age” experience.  I promised this post would contain no spoilers so I won’t delve into too many details!  By the end both of the women in the film have made progress, but just like in real life, things aren’t perfect.

Looking back, I relate to the naïve precociousness of the daughter in the film. I once thought that life transitions could be uncomplicated and that the ties that bind us to those we love could be easily broken. I  thought that my “coming of age” would bring an end to the confusion, messiness and uncertainty of life. I now know that even when we have experienced our “coming of age” and have transitioned out of our adolescence we never stop learning and we never stop growing.  

This movie allowed the main characters to be flawed, vulnerable and even unlikeable at times which is a rarity these days. A lot of us struggle to achieve a false ideal of womanhood because we are afraid of the imperfections, and flaws lurking just underneath the polished exteriors we work so hard to maintain. I know many times I held my own mother to a very high standard and even now constantly berate myself for all of the things that I am not.

Living up to our own false expectations of what life should look like is sometimes the hardest thing to let go of. When we realize that we are never really complete, that there is never an end to our growth perhaps we will start to appreciate the beauty of being women in progress.

I for one know that I will always be a woman in progress. Watch the movie and you may have an epiphany of your very own.  Take your mom, your sister or your best friend, you won’t regret it.

Xoxo,

Betsy Aimee

Cinco De Mayo Special: Being Mexican is Awesome

Today is Cinco de Mayo and based on the promos and paraphernalia at Party City you would think that Mexican culture is all about Coronas, mustaches and sombreros. Well yes, those are elements of the culture. But there is definitely more to it than that! As a first generation Mexican-American (well technically i'm half as my mother is Guatemalan) I never felt the need to learn about my culture as it was all around me, in fact I spent a good part of my life trying to escape the elements of my culture I disliked or didn't identify with.Now that I am older I have learned to appreciate my Mexican side a lot more. Here are some reasons why Mexican women are awesome:

1) History of Strong Women- I really reject the notion that Mexican women are submissive and bow their heads to their men. Thus I had to search for different role models of what being a Mexican woman was all about and thanks to my mother I discovered Frida Kahlo.

Frida Kahlo: 

Frida sufferred a terrible accident at a young age that could have destroyed her spirit but her will to live, love and succeed was stronger than the pain she lived with as a result of the accident. She managed to seduce and marry Diego Rivera, a man who could have easily overpowered her physically and professionally. Even after his infidelities, Frida stayed true to herself and got even (watch the movie or read this book to know more), she wasn't afraid to live on her own terms, have controversial beliefs and be sexually liberated at a time when most women didn't dare to. While she loved Diego in the end her she got the last laugh as she eclipsed her famous husband and has become the most well-known and revered Mexican artist. LOVE HER!

Maria Felix: 

The biggest star of Mexico's Golden Age of Cinema, Mari Felix, was the Mexican Liz Taylor. She married 4 times, and always personified a strong, indomitable women on film and in real life. She also happened to be incredibly beautiful and proud of her Yaki Indian ancestry. She also wore Christian Dior and was featured in best dresses lists throughout the world.

Her personality and spirit are demonstrated in this quote: 

"I cannot complain about men. I have had tons of them and they have treated me fabulously well. But sometimes I had to hurt them to keep them from subjugating me."

2) Fearless Fashion Sense-Have you ever watched a Latin award show? Mexican women are not afraid to flaunt their curves and bring on the color and the bling. Look at Friday Kahlo and Maria Felix (above) does it look like they were afraid to accessorize?  Here's one of my favorite Mexican actresses, Jacqueline Bracamontes in Oscar De La Renta. She's the epitome of refinement on every occasion and she has the most amazing hair. It's also always great to see a red carper filled with with women that are not primarily thin, blondes. 

What do I wear on Cinco de Mayo? Now that you know why Mexican women are awesome. Here's a Cinco de Mayo Outfit for you to flaunt out on the town tonight! Notice the bold color in every piece and the statement necklace. The point is to incorporate elements of the colors associated with the Mexican flag, not to actually look like a flag. Of course these pieces are versatile enough to be worn after tonight too.  All of these items can be found at Forever21.com

So let's not forget that I was born and raised in the U.S and like any real American I will be celebrating Cinco de Mayo tonight with a shot of Tequila. Being bi-cultural provides you with SO many drinking opportunities. How do you observe the day? What are your favorite things about Mexican women? 

Feliz Cinco de Mayo! 

xoxo

Betsy Aimee 

Peplum is for Everyone!

When I first saw the peplum trend I did not think it could be for me, as extra attention to my hip area does not favor my body type. But I changed my mind about the trend when I realized that peplum accentuates my waist too! Then I saw that one of my favorite bloggers Tanesha from Girl with Curves rocked it and looked absolutely beautiful! I have since been looking for my next peplum top. Here are my favorites as of lately, all for under 100 dollars...

These can be worn with denim jeans (extra points if they are colorful jeans), your favorite pencil skirt, or shorts in the Summer months! Throw a belt on for extra emphasis on the waistline. It's flirty,feminine and an easy way to incorporate trends into your Spring/Summer wardrobe.
What trends are you afraid to try?
Happy Weekend!

Betsy Aimee

Eastside Career Chic in The Daily Muse: How to Deal with Depression at Work

Source: repinly.com via Betsy on Pinterest

Read my newest post for The Daily Muse a publication for smart young professional women

A few months ago, I told you how a quarter-life crisis catapulted me into a severe depression, and my story of recovering. The response I received from that piece since tells me that I’m not alone in this plight, and that many of us have experienced a similar personal crisis. And a recent article onForbes confirmed that more millennials are suffering from depression, anxiety, or some other form of mood disorder than ever before.

One of the hardest parts of my ordeal was that, in the midst of it all, I still had to be a functional adult and stay on top of my job responsibilities. And while there are many great books online about how to deal with depression or anxiety at work, I also want to share some suggestions based on my own experience for making it through—and even thriving.

Follow the link for tips! 

Eastside Career Chic in Office A La Mode

On a daily basis how many negative thoughts about your body go through your mind? Are there any types of clothes you are afraid to wear?
See my curvy girl confession in Office A La Mode:
Follow the link for more