How to Put Your Best Self Forward

Welcome to my newly re-designed blog. I am so excited that my friend was willing to help my blog put its best face forward! I love her. Sometimes we know that something is great but intuitively we know that it could be even better.In life and in blogging there is always room for improvement. Thus now that my friend took care of the blog I have dedicated these past few weeks to reflect on life and rid my mind of clutter to put my best self forward. Here's how you can do it too!

1) Search the Internet for Answers: 

Source: marthastewart.com via Lizbeth on Pinterest

Penelope Trunk saved my life, I found her through HuffPo and we have been in a relationship ever since.She doesn't know it, but she planted the seed for this blog and my journey as a writer, influenced my last salary negotiation and has played a role in my marriage. She shares intimate details of her life and inspired me to share my own story without fear of judgment.

Her advice led me to discover other quarter-life crisis self-help gurus like Alexandra Robbins who wrote a book on how to survive and conquer your quarter-life crisis. These books gave me hope in some difficult moments and so did Penelope.  Finding Penelope Trunk on the internet changed my life. If you are strategic you too can find life altering sites on the internet! It''s very silly advice but it's also very easy to do.

2) Shake Things Up:

You cannot keep doing the same thing and expect different outcomes. I know this because I have tried it and trust me it FAILS every time. When I was depressed, sulking around at home and complaining about my life did not make things better. What made it better was seeing a therapist, getting a dog and doing a series of other things that did not just occur as I slept in till 2pm on a weekend. If you feel lost you will need to make an effort to find whatever it is you're looking for, a new job, a new relationship, a new apartment, etc.

You can start small, for example in the past few weeks I cut inches off my hair, and tried to change my hair color. I didn't say you had to go crazy here, baby steps are fine. I also decided to spruce up my social life by attending events I would normally not attend because i'm too tired, too busy or too lazy to attend.  I attended the FAWN You Tube channel launch and a movie screening for Girl in Progress (which you really should see) At the second event I even networked and asked someone to meet me for coffee! Step out of your comfort zone, you may meet  people or get a cool gift bag filled with fun make-up!

Here I am shaking things up at the You Tube channel launch with my shorter hair, and hot pink pants (an unusual wardrobe choice and yet another way I was shaking things up) See I have proof that I am taking my own advice! 

3) Focus on the Positive: 

I was in the middle of March Madness (the work kind not the basketball kind) and I noticed a crazy increase in my blog's traffic. I then realized the Forbes.com had picked up my latest article for The Daily Muse!! Here was my advice on Forbes.com. One year ago, I wasn't even writing and now here I am on a major site that was accomplishment HUGE for me. It also proves that searching the internet for answers and shaking things up really does make a difference when you're lost. I started this blog to shake things up and challenge myself and I did it by searching for cool bloggers on the internet. I have encountered so many amazing people and really discovered a whole new side of myself, the writer. I usually look at past blog posts and focus on typos or how things could have been phrased differently. I am now trying to focus on this small victory and using it as motivation to keep writing. (Just found several typos here too, Ugh)

4) Don't Worry About Feeling Lost:
These past few weeks have been crazy and I have been reflecting a lot about what I want for this blog and for my career. Whenever this happens I usually turn to the Patron Saint for Lost 20 Somethings, Penelope Trunk. She writes eloquently about being lost and urges readers to embrace being lost because personal growth looks a lot like being lost. I have felt lost so many times I am now in the running for a lost 20-something medal of honor for personal growth, and it is VERY frustrating but I try to remember this little nugget of advice I found on my new obsession Pinterest.

Source: coolmemories.tumblr.com via Betsy on Pinterest

So go ahead and embrace the discomfort of being lost and put your best self forward!
How are you shaking things up this spring? When was the last time you felt lost and what did you do about it?

xoxo
Betsy Aimee

Challenges for Millennial Women

This is a special post in honor of the Third Annual Blog for International Women’s Day, a day where bloggers, writers, and humanitarian organizations are asked to write about issues facing women and girls. 

International Women’s Day provides us with a great opportunity to celebrate the many things the women who came before us accomplished. But it is also a time to ponder on the many things we have yet to do..  Our world has seen very dramatic changes in the past 50 years and millennial women have reaped the benefits of the revolutions that occurred in the 60’s and 70’s. Yet we don’t have to go very far but to see that millennial women still have much ground to cover on the domestic and international fronts:

A Fair Work Place

·     I’m sure you know that the United States is one of the few industrialized nations that doesn’t provide Universal Paid Maternity Leave. This is only one of the many issues that affect women’s role in the workplace and is indicative of pay inequities that still exist in our country.  Clearly we are still struggling to integrate women with children into the workforce in an equitable way. Meanwhile, the stay-at home mommies and the work mommies are still struggling to find common ground. I hope millennial women figure out how we can all join forces so that women stop feeling like they have to choose one path over the other.

·      I’m also still alarmed at the pay inequities that exist among men and women and how this recession has disproportionately affected women. While it is great that more of us are taking on Graduate and Professional degrees during times of economic uncertainty it is unfair that we will be compensated differently once we enter the workforce. We have heard the numbers: 

• Women earn 77-85 (studies take into account certain factors to come up with the higher number) cents to every dollar a Man makes. If you are a woman of color this number is lower (Yay, for me). As if we needed more proof the most recent census revealed that women earn less per month than men at EVERY degree level.  We could go into details as to the why’s and the hows of this but either way it is something we need to examine further in the next few decades.

Slut Shaming (See next point)

Access to Basic Health Care
If you haven’t noticed it seems that health services that have played a big role in women’s lives, such as birth control, are still considered quite controversial. Just last week Rush Limbaugh caused an up roar when he declared that the Georgetown Student that testified in Congress about the importance of having access to birth control, was a “slut” and that her and all of the other Feminazi’s that want to government to pay for birth control should have to upload videos of the themselves having sex. Then a few weeks back Mr. Foster Friess (sp?) explained to renowned journalist Andrea Mitchell that in his day women would “put a Bayer aspiring between their legs for birth control” aka- Close your legs! Mr. Freeze was on television discussing his support for Presidential nominee, Rick Santoroum who was quoted as saying that “birth control is harmful to society.” Geez.

This is a challenge for millennial women because the way these things play out in our country is very indicative or where women stand in contemporary society. I know our mom’s and grandmothers tell us that “we just don’t know what it was like in the old days” and you know what? Thanks to all of their efforts we don’t, but we still have our own battles to fight. I can’t help but wonder if these political discussions would play out differently if Congress was 83% female, instead 83% male. Hmmm…This reminds me of my next point

Breaking the Glass Ceiling/s and/or denying there is still a Glass Ceiling to Break

Source: janluijk.nl via Catherine on Pinterest

Sometimes I feel like I’m living in parallel universes, on the one hand there is world declaring “the end of men” and telling me how men are falling behind on educational attainment. Yet on the other hand I see a world where I can only think a few female CEO’s and I see that many of the organizations that hold the power in our society are still very male dominated. This brings us into a larger discussion about whether or not women are failing to achieve seats of power because they don’t really want to be there, what Sheryl Sandberg called “the ambition gap” in her now famous (well famous among my colleagues) TED Talk. Others may argue that there are indeed true barriers to access. If such barriers exist are they institutional barriers? Or is it that women were not raised to have the characteristics needed to succeed in high level positions? I wish I had the answer to these questions. If I did there wouldn’t have been a need to list it as a challenge for millennial women. I will probably be wondering about this one for the rest of my life. This brings me to my next thought…

First World Problems

 I use the phrase “first world problems” when I am discussing a problem that can only happen in the life of someone who has their basic needs fully met. It’s also a reminder to myself that for a majority of women around the world, not having been selected to serve on a Board of Directors is a superfluous issue that does not compare to losing a child because you are unable to provide food or shelter, or because you are living in a place being ravaged by a war that was most likely started by men. (Sorry sometimes I make generalizations)
How will we continue to advance the rights of women and girls around the world to ensure that they are no longer casualties of famine, war and of the decisions made by those around them? Michelle Bachelet is one example of a bad-ass woman who is working to ensure that the next generation of women has a better chance at life. While it is important to work to advance ourselves, we must also remember our sisters around the world who could use our help and deserve a chance to pursue their own dreams and aspirations.


Ok so now that you are riled up let’s look at some organizations that are already working hard to solve these issues:    

• To Get HER There- Learn more about the issues affecting women and girls affect all of us and how we can develop the next generation of women leaders! 
• Women’s Media Center- Changing the public discourse on issues pertaining to women and girls 
• United Nations for Women- Learn more about how to help women around the world 
• 20 20 Campaign- Wrote about them before. Great organization working to increase diversity in our country’s board rooms. 
• Planned Parenthood Action Center- Don’t just get angry at Rush Limbaugh, Get Involved!

What do you think are the biggest challenges for Millennial women? 


Together we can make a difference!
Happy Women’s Day!
xoxo
Betsy Aimee

Eastside Career Chic: In the Daily Muse-Bloggers I LOVE!

Last week, the Glitterati of the fashion world traveled to New York City for the most important time of the year: Fashion Week! It’s hard not to love the extravaganza that the week brings, but truth is, most of us can’t come close to affording those designer labels. Let alone show up to our weekly staff meetings wearing looks straight from the runway!

Luckily, we have fashion bloggers—the talented, creative, and super-stylish women that help us adapt high-fashion looks to something appropriate for the cubicle lifestyle (including our very own corporate attire experts, Cubicle Chic!). Get out of your black slacks and a button-up rut and get some workday inspiration with this list of our favorite office-appropriate fashion bloggers:

Read the rest of this article by visiting:
The Daily Muse

My Feminine Mystique...

One afternoon, I sat in my living room and looked around at my belongings. There was the large cabinet that held souvenirs from my adventures working on Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign. There was my book collection (organized by size and color), the college degree I had worked so hard to obtain, and a display of carefully selected photos with my friends and loved ones.

But as I stared at all these objects, the symbols that represented the life I had created for myself, I sobbed inconsolably. From the corner of my eye, I could see a hardcover copy of Betty Friedan’s The Feminine Mystique. I recalled Friedan’s writing about the unhappiness that plagued middle-class women of the 1950s and 60s. I never thought I would relate to these women, who, on the surface seemed content, yet upon closer inspection, were miserable. Friedan called it “the problem which has no name.”

I knew I had a problem, but unlike the one Friedan wrote about, mine did have a name: depression.

Read this article in its entirety by visiting The Daily Muse

Self Help for Skeptics

I have recently started seeing a new therapist/life coach. Yes, she’s expensive. Yes, she’s worth it!  This week we were discussing my shopping addiction which is exemplified on several blog posts, like this one. We were talking about the giddy feelings I get when I buy myself something pretty, and she said that maybe I should create a personal mission statement and that I should reference it before I purchase something to make sure it fits into what I want in life. Personal mission statement? Yeah that’s for nerds and optimists. 

That made recall a training I did a few years ago where I went through a series of exercises that led me to create a mission statement but back then I secretly scoffed at the idea as it sounded like something people who take themselves seriously would do and I am not that kind of gal. I reviewed the mission statement I wrote on that day and clearly much has changed in the past 2 years. Not only this time rather than being skeptical I was kind of excited about developing a mission statement, probably because I have now embraced my inner self-help nerd. 

I started doing research and I was relieved that others have already written eloquently on the subject!  Classy Career Girl, Anna Runyan explains that her mission statement helps her keep track of what she wants to achieve with her blog. She's awesome and I loved this mission statement she shared so much that I featured the image on my blog (see above) Your personal mission statement then will help you keep track of what you want in life. I started working on my own mission statement and relating it back to what my therapist said, that I should make it a tool to keep in the back of mind whenever i’m making small or large decisions. I love writing about myself in 3^rd person! Here goes my first attempt:

To live without fear, pursue my passions, embrace my personal style, achieve the ideal work-life balance, meet my spiritual and health needs, while creating financial stability that will alleviate stress in my middle age.

Here’s what I found out about myself in this short exercise:

• Financial stability- Is important –NOW, I used to pride myself on not caring about money, I have realized that money gives you options and I want more time to do all the things I cannot afford to do now like travel and shower my family and friends with nice gifts. Oh and boring stuff like retirement. 
• Personal Style-I should ask myself next time I buy a pair of shoes if they are indeed helping me embrace personal style or just a momentary desire that will only hinder my ability to meet my other goals.
• Work-Life Balance- I never thought this was an issue until I realized that working 10 hour days is no way to enjoy life.
• Spiritual and Health Needs-Again things I didn’t care about at 21, F*ck i’m old.
• Pursuing my Passions- This blog is one step in that direction. Never thoughts writing would be a hobby. I had to have a breakdown (see work-life balance or lack thereof) to finally start looking for a creative outlet. 

Clearly I have changed my mind on the personal mission statement. However, I am still on the trajectory to embrace other useful tools that are meant to help map out the road to achieving the lives we want to lead. Check out this book for more exercises to help guide you and this great quote from said book:

"Some people don't just live: they lead a life. They don't sit around waiting for a lucky break. They create opportunities. They go after their dreams and bring them to life….

Why does this matter? Because we only live once silly. So do like the ill-fated lovers on the Titanic, and make each day count!

What’s your personal statement? Try to write one, I promise it's easy and you may learn something about yourself!

If you liked this post PLEASE comment, subscribe or follow me on (the) twitter @betsyaimee.

XOXO

Betsy Aimee.

The Facebook Dilemma

Career blogs and sites were buzzing last week with the announcement that Facebook was going public.  The technical term for this that you may have heard is IPO, which stands for initial public offering. In the official documents that were submitted to the U.S Securities and Exchange Commission Facebook reports that it has 1.7 Billion likes and comments every day.  

I don’t think we need scientific data to prove to us that a large majority of these users are women and that it is women who are commenting, liking and uploading photos over 250 million photos on the site every day.  I am not trying to stereotype but it’s mostly my female friends that are constantly updating me on their whereabouts, and showing me photos of their weekend adventures. Luckily, I am not making this up and a recent study revealed women have an average of 55% more wall posts than men.This means then that a significant portion of the Facebook’s revenue comes from advertising targeted for women.

However, when it came time to select the Board of Directors somehow women were not selected to serve. The story became even bigger because Facebook’s COO, Sheryl Sandberg has frequently spoken about the need for more female representation on Boards and in high powered executive positions, she delivered one of the best Ted Talks of 2011, which I wrote about last year, where she described the “ambition gap” which according to her is preventing many women from breaking the remaining glass ceilings.  So without a doubt one wonders what kind of a role she played in selecting the board of directors and if she had no role in the process, we wonder if she called out her 27 year old boss Mark Zuckerberg for the major oversight.  One wonders if they looked around and couldn’t think of anyone. Odd since according to recent data presented in a recent Bloomberg News article, only 11.3 of boards in America are exclusively male. This same article also cited a recent survey which states that diverse boards result in more profitable companies.

Read the whole article here: No Women on Facebook Board Shows White Male Influence

This is yet another example of women’s purchasing power being ignored and yet another example of women not doing anything about it. Of course, in a perfect world we would all de-activate our bookfaces in protest. But even as I have that revolutionary thought I wonder if this matters to women? Do we really need women on boards to represent us? What would the world look like if women were equally represented on board? Is there an ambition gap or are there legitimate barriers preventing women from reaching the top?  I will let you all make up your own minds

A new campaign called, 20% By 2020 hopes to rally women from across the country with the goal of increasing the percentage of women on U.S. company boards to 20% or greater by the year 2020. They wrote Mr. Zuckerberg a letter last week in response to their board’s lack of diversity.

Here’s my favorite phrase:

“Maybe your board thinks that because women are so busy socializing on Facebook they're too busy to achieve the necessary credentials for board service.”

The feminist nerd in me was fascinated by this organization and their cool site which gives information on why corporate boards matter to all of us and how we can help ensure diverse representation. Check it out! http://www.2020wob.com/

I think the fact that we are even noticing that absence of women is a step in the right direction. Now let’s figure out how to get women and racial minorities on board with boards! Get it?

Happy Monday

Xoxo

Betsy Aimee

From the Archives:The Golden Rules of Office Politics

Source: bundyology.com via Sarah on Pinterest

According the U.S Department of Labor, the unemployment rate in Los Angeles County currently stands at an incredibly high rate of 12.7percent. If you are fortunate enough to be employed right now and if you were recently hired it is important to establish yourself as a valuable asset to your office as soon as you step foot in the door. I know, it’s hard to come in with a strategy when you are still recovering from the excitement of hearing the magical words, “You’re hired!”

With so much career advice out there it can be hard to discern the true keys to success. The tips listed below will not help you perform your job but they will help you navigate the murky waters of office politics. While the rules vary among fields and sectors, there are some general, golden rules that can help those that are new and/or those that find themselves stuck in a career rut. Full disclosure: I have broken some of these rules at times. You can thank me later for helping you learn through my mistakes.

Form rapport with your colleagues- Even the most fabulous jobs will have rough days. Unless you are completely antisocial you will need a buddy to help you get through the rough days. If you ever need someone to cry with/complain to you can go to this person. This will help you maintain your composure with your boss and everyone else.

Don’t assume people know your qualifications- The person who interviewed you knows you are perfectly qualified. It’s important to inform others of your background and express what you have to offer to the rest of your colleagues. Make yourself available to help. Take on new projects.

Read the rest of the article on Examiner.com

We All Need to Find Our Place in the Universe

According to Wikipedia the term niche is used to describe the role an organism or population plays within its community or ecosystem. Niche marketing often refers to advertising that is tailored to appeal to a specific group of people. Niche Audience is the people that fit within that said group of people.

It’s like those ads on the side bar of your Facebook that seem made just for you and say creepy things like , “Are you a 26 year old woman living in Los Angeles?” and you think, “Well actually I am! “ This is the most obvious example of advertisers targeting to a niche audience. Some things are marketed to the “mainstream niche” and are meant to appeal to all consumers but increasingly ads are developed for specific groups of people. This is why Facebook and Google will one day inevitably rule the world as they have so much data on everyone that they are the perfect venue for advertisers to create very specific ads based on all of the data we put on the internet.

Advertisers know that in order to sell they have to tailor to who they want to sell to. This got me thinking about my niche and who my target audience is, who am I appealing to, and who would be interested in what I have to say on this blog.

Taking it one step further I asked myself why I continue visiting certain Fashion, and Career sites, what is it about who they are marketing to that keeps me coming back? For example, when a blogger or a site features only high end designer gear I find myself not visiting that site as often. If the clothes I see don’t seem accessible to me it makes it less likely I want to visit in that case I’m not part of the niche audience of that blogger.

Now some bloggers who are a bit more savvy understand this and so they frequently post, less expensive options so that people like me don’t get turned off this is why I always read, “The Chloe Conspiracy.  This is an example of trying to appeal to a “mainstream” niche.

Now neither of these options are bad and perhaps bloggers are not always aware that they are carving a niche for themselves but it’s essential for their success that they establish an audience, figure out what it wants and then blog accordingly.

The same rule can apply to our careers, we need to find out what we like, who would like the service/product that we can provide and then tailor accordingly. Mold your career to who you are and then surround yourself with people who will appreciate it.

I’m still searching for my blog’s niche audience, but for this week my niche is finding cute nail polish!


It’s important for all of us to know who our target audience is, at work and in life and message accordingly. If you’re reading this it’s likely that you are a member of my niche audience so please do remember to subscribe, comment and follow me on Twitter!

This Blog Post Will Change Your Life!

Source: piccsy.com via Michelle on Pinterest

One of the best things that has happened since I started this blog is that I have found so many other sites and blogs that inspire and excite me. Every evening I come home and methodically click through my favorites bar. If you want to see some of my daily reads click here.

Of course 90 percent of my thoughts while I do this are something like this:

"Wow, she's so pretty. I wouldnt look that great in that outfit"
"Well she doesnt have a Full time job etc. like I do so that's why she looks that cute"
" I wish I could dedicate more time to being a "writer/blogger" so that I could incorporate all these great ideas I read on IFB into my blog

Then after a while I get tired and then just shut off the computer and say to myself,
"Now i'm too tired to blog"

Finding inspiration isn't hard for me, it's getting motivation to share what inspires me with others.
Here's a picture of my magazines which inspire me to find new outfits for the office!

I'm almost ashamed to admit this is only one months worth of glossy peridiocals. I have loved magazines since I was little girl. I think I was the only 11 year girl who read Seventeen Magazine and also played with paper dolls.

This week one of the sites I follow New Latina posted a question their site, "My ideal job would be _______"  I posted a response saying, " My ideal job would be to blog about careers and fashion"

Side Bar: My current job as a member of the women's rights movement isnt all that bad! But hey I am an overachiever so 2 careers would be awesome, and hopefully profitable.Besides I strongly feel that Gen Y (those born between 1980-1991) will have many careers and that the days of doing one job for the rest of your life are long gone. But that's a whole other topic for another day.

New Latina, asked me if I already had a blog or was thinking of starting one. I responded with the link to this blog and I was esctatic when New Latina posted my most recent blog post to their Facebook and Twitter! Woo hoo! That was exciting but it also made me ponder on why I just cant do what I claim I love to do on a more consistent basis. I have blogged about this in the past and have discussed this phenomenon with others.

The creative mind behind New Latina, Angelica Perez-Litwin is a great example of doing what you love and sharing your gifts with others. She is utilizing her psychology background to motivate other women and at the same time has created a platform of self expression for other women trying to share their "gift" with the world.

What does it mean to "share your gift." It sounds incredibly self-help-ish (yes, I just made up a word) but your "gift" is that unique talent you possess, that perspetive on life, fashion, music, politics, etc. that can only come from you.

(Speaking of gifts, looks this adorable wrapping paper)

Source: junelily.com via Flo on Pinterest

For example, to the naked eye, most fashion and beauty blogs might appear to be the same but  according to this Ted Talk on how to have a successful blog it is that unique perspective on trends and fashion that others connect with and makes them want to come back to your blog.

I hope you feel some connection to the thoughts I share here and that's why you are reading this blog. If that's the case then you should suscribe or comment! (or maybe it's just because you are my friend or my family member)

At the end of her talk she cites this quote by T.S Eliot that she shares at the end:"Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.”

The blogger who did this TED Talk, Andy Torres of Style Scrapbook found herself unemployed after moving to Europe to pursue her dreams of being a designer and then realized that her true gift was to take runaway looks and make them relatable for the everyday woman and now has an incredibly successful webiste and career as a stylist.

Now dont tell me you dont think you have gift. We all have a gift and even if you dont know immediately what it is, part of our challenge is to find out what it is. If you havent found it already now is the time to start looking. But in order to do so we must take a risk and get out there and find it.

If we reallly want to change our lives we need to get out there and find our gift!
How many of you have things that inspire you? How are you sharing your gifts with the world? Where do you find the motivation to do what you love?  If you start searching today I will guarantee this post will change your life and if in Steve Jobs case he radically changed the lives of others in the process.

xoxo

Betsy Aimee.

Invest in Yourself, Just Make Sure There's a Return on Your Investment

Everyday we are confronted with a myriad of financial decisions...
"Should I stop for coffee?"
"Should I eat the lunch I made at home or hit the nearest burger joint?" Guess how I usually answer  that question, :)
"Does the dog really need a new outfit?" Rational Answer: No!
"Should I shop around for gas or just go to the nearest place when I run out of gas?"
"Should I agree to loan (insert name of friend/relative) money?"

In case you're wondering these are actual decisions I have been confronted with recently.

In this era of consumerism and where people are always looking for the next best gadget- Ipad 2/Iphone 101 anybody? - to keep up their image, it is very difficult to make decisions about how to spend money that can be truly unique and independent as we are constantly being subjected to targeted marketing that was designed specifically for us based on age, race etc.

And then there's the stuff we search for late at night....

Exhibit A- I have been obsessing over You Tube make up tutorial and beauty videos. They are inmensely addicting to someone like me. I have loved Make-Up ever since I was old enough to dig through my mother and older sister's make up. Now that I have emerged from the valley of the shadow of Depression I have re-discovered my love for face painting.

These videos are the budget shoppers guilty pleasures.  It's great to learn about beauty products and they prevent you from having to buy products that are overpriced, inadequate or who do not keep their marketing promises.
Yes of course, these videos help me save money!!
I think they could if I didn't have a compulsive need to buy things.

See below here is my newest nail polish purchased on a late night binge at my local drugstore. After all glitter polish will continue to be a top trend in 2012.

If we could graph the incidence of cosmetic product purchases after I watch these videos we would see a direct cause and effect relationship. I wont tell you what I have purchased in the past few weeks for fear of judgment (but I did post a picture of everything above) and also because I havent completely abandoned the idea of starting my own You Tube channel to share my "hauls" in the hope that I will soon become the next You Tube sensation.

I am fascinated by this phenomenon as these You Tube beauty experts are gaining momentum and cosmetic companies are definitely taking notice. In this video, one of the gals I enjoy shows off the drawer of the stuff that gets sent to her by cosmetic companies. I would lie if I said I wasnt jealous

I wouldnt publicly admit to following her but there's this young gal who has over 100 million hits and has recently hired a PR firm to represent her and is clearly trying to capitalize on her You Tube fame by coining herself the "Fashion Icon of the Social Media Generation."  Her readers sometimes  argue about her credentials as a fashionist/beauty guru in their comments section but she's clearly making a living this way. 

But there's more to this a few years ago it would have seemed outlandish but these young gals are actually good career role models because they are doing what they love and turning it into a profession and incorporating into their lives.  They are also following Penelope Trunk's advice and branding themselves as experts. in their fields by using social media and creating a following.

 This is something that all of us could learn from to advance our careers and the importance of investing time to pursue what we love. Investing in ourselves is key to getting ahead whether that means buying cosmetics and uploading videos, seeing a career coach, or my favorite investing in a killer wardrobe that will help make you more confident at work. 

Where does that leave me and my potential You Tube Channel idea. I have a lot on my plate and I look fat on camera but I will definitely keep considering the Yout Tube venture. Mostly because then my cosmetic obsession can be considered an investment in my future! Doing something you love is never a waste of time because it contributes to your personal happiness an that is of course the best investment money and You Tube can buy.  For the time being please keep reading this blog. I promise to share the goodies as soon as they start coming in....

Why I Hate New Year's Resolutions

Source: facebook.com via sophia on Pinterest

I hate New Year's resolutions.. I mean who needs another reason to feel bad about the many things they dont do?! Dont get me wrong, it's not like my life is perfect. In fact on January 1st I immediately came up with a list of resolutions and  on February 2nd I was already failing to keep them and thus I gave up on the whole idea. One of those included blogging more frequently.

Instead I think we should take January to reflect on the many great things we accomplished in 2011 and how we will continue to build on those successes. Think about what made you happy last year and make sure you continue to do that. Here are some of the things that worked for me in my quest for personal development:

1) Try New Things: It sounds like a no-brainer but it is easy to come home everyday after work and sit down in front of the computer, and on weekends you sleep in, have a few drinks and then get ready to do the work week all over again. I have driven myself crazy with this routine for quite sometime. Last year I finally took a creative writting class and was completely scared of having to read my work in front of others. But it felt great to finally do it! Think about what you want to try that are you too afraid or to lazy to try and make 2012 the year you do it!

2) Keep Going Even if Not Everything is Going Right: Last year had many ups: vacations, celebrations, new home etc. But there was also things on the personal front that just didnt work. However, I plowed through the bad days and enjoyed the good ones. That's the only way I kept my sanity and even though it's only January 7th I already know I will need that same resolve in 2012.

3) Read about people who share your interests:  I am interested in career, personal hapiness, and fashion so that's what I read about. Make sure you have a hobby or something that interests you outside of work. I love Penelope Trunk as she writes about careers and personal developments. No really, you should read her! She wrote a great blog on what is trending in 2012.  This will get your creative juices flowing.

4) There's Always Room for Improvement: I just bought a new home and have seen that the remodeling process will pose challenges for me and for my relationship. "What do you mean you aren't finishing the floor this week?!" Just when you think you have overcome one hurdle life seems to throw you another. I need to work on my gratitude because no matter how great my house is I cant get over the fact that it doesnt look like what I want to look. This is just bratty behavior on my part as this is really a great home that needs some love and care. I really need to work on my outlook life. As someones who suffers from depression this is quite a feat, but im not giving up without a fight! :)

If you want a full life remodel I highly reccomend the New York Times Best Seller, "The Happiness Project." In this book she takes a whole year to work on different aspects of her life. It's a great, light read and there's even exercises to create your own happiness project.

5) Challenge Yourself- This year I plan on creating more looks with less clothes and use more recycled clothing ie- used/vintage. This is my Style Challenge 2012. I did a great job on honing in on my personal style in 2011 and I will be taking it the next step in 2012.

Someone famous said, "A life unexamined is not worth living" Examining every day is exhausting (I should know) but just make sure you are in the drivers seat in 2012!

The moment I gave up on blogging everyday I actually blogged. Woo hoo!
xo,
Betsy Aimee

Fear Factor

Last Wednesday, I attended my first Creative Non-Fiction writing class. I showed up giddy, super excited about that I was finally, finally doing this. I had been putting off pursuing my aspirations of writing for so long and pretending like it was something I would pursue later. In this case, later meant when I won the lottery and had loads of free time. The first step of this new endeavor was my blog, and this course was the 2nd step. I had been secretly counting down the days until the class began.

After conducting the usual roll call, and syllabus review we delved into the fun stuff. One of the first things we did, was an exercise during which we discussed why we wanted to write and answered a series of questions which elicited hilarious, creative responses from the attendees.

That’s when it first happened. I felt the blood rushing to my face, my heart started beating a little faster and I suddenly felt like I had walked up a few flights of stairs. (Okay one of flight of stairs, I’m not in the best shape at the moment) I knew that there were the physical manifestations of my feelings of inadequacy. But this was no time to accept defeat and I pushed myself to keep calm. However, when it was time for me to speak, I muttered, “Well I won’t be as funny as the person who just spoke before me.” There it was again the self-doubt and I actually verbalized it to my entire class. Ugh.

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Is Graduate School the Answer?

I have always wanted to go graduate school. It probably has to do with the many statistics I have read that state that women need to go to graduate school to earn as much as men.  I also genuinely miss the academic environment and the excitement of an empty notebook on the first day of school. I loved school, the subjects I studied, the late nights of studying and the many books I read.

After college I also realized that school was simple, you do the work you earn the grade! The work world isn’t so easy. You can’t go to office hours with the professor to explain why you couldn’t do your work on time (not that I did that often). As we all know, the hardest workers don’t always get the highest reward and there’s not a syllabus that contains all the deadlines and relevant information.  Naturally, all these previously mentioned facts make me want to run back to the simplicity of the academic world.

 I do think graduate school is worthwhile, for those who are going into a field that requires licensing and credentials such as a J.D or a M.F.T. It’s also valuable if you are simply expanding your knowledge in the field you are already pursuing and are completely certain this is the field you will continue working in once you obtain your degree. But for the rest of us confused, souls, what are the rewards of graduate school? Do these rewards outweigh the costs?  Now if anyone has the answers to these please do let me know! (Please note that if you are personally wealthy and/or have parents that will pay for graduate school these thoughts may be irrelevant to you.)

In the meantime, I have pursued my own research and performed mental math and have come up with no formula that would allow to pay for my living expenses and my tuition given the hefty prices of some of the fancy programs that have caught my attention. The other issue is the radical lifestyle change that would have to occur. In college, my lack of funds meant living paycheck to paycheck and sometimes only having enough money for gas and one meal   for a few days.  I wonder if I could be happy going back to that.  

There’s another issue to ponder about, if graduate school isn’t a precise means to an end then is it worth pulling yourself out of the workforce? Could you learn things in the workforce that would supersede an MFA, or Journalism Degree (I use these as recently these are the ones that I have been considering). 

I suggest that if you are confused about what to do next, want to explore your options while keeping your day job, or if you want to feel as though you are still learning in your free time, you should consider the following things:

1)      Take Classes at your Local University- Many schools offer Open University to students who have their degree but want to take other courses. This is a good way to explore those subjects that interest you before committing to a two-year program across the country.

2)      Take Classes at your Local Community College- An even less expensive way to explore other options. These classes also tend to have flexible hours.

3)      Consider a Certificate Instead of a Master’s Program- Depending on where you live Universities can offer certificate programs that can offer you a new set of skills. Such as Business Development, Communications, Marketing.   This might sound completely controversial and it completely depends on your field. I’m not suggesting that you reject that offer from Columbia University!

4)      Switch Jobs- You want to work in healthcare, then what are you doing working in retail management!?  Do not be deceived by graduate school programs that claim they will find you a job and place you in marvelous internship. If you are having a hard time networking and selling your skills now, graduate school will not solve this problem for you.

5)      Informational Interviews- Talk to people who pursued fields that interest you and find out if they went to graduate school etc.  Don’t be shy people want to share their experiences. 

Currently, I’m working on option number 3 and I will definitely keep you posted on my progress!

Stay Fabulous,

Betsy

In Between Two Cultures in a Halfway Changed World

In Latino culture we are taught to appreciate what we are given and not demand too much. I see this everyday with my extended family " Be grateful for what you have mija" ,  "It's so great the Cousin (Blank) is making 17 dollars per hour. I should probably not be upset if i'm overlooked for a promotion and that I sure as hell shouldnt be marching in there asking the boss for a raise. I realize that in these tough economic times we should be GRATEFUL for what we have. But as the wonderful, accomplished women that we are, we should also value our work and the fact that on most days we go above and beyond the call of duty.

Given that I am a woman who also happens to be a first generation American Latina I wonder where that leaves me... I am  in between two cultures but I am also living in a world where women have made great strides, yet still make less money than men. How is this even possible?  At this point it must mean that women who are in positions of power are paying women less than men for performing the same work. This is equally puzzling because then it must mean that indeed men possess certain traits that are more favorable to success in the workplace.

Even more depressing is the fact that Latinas make about 57 cents for every dollar a man makes! This means that there's really no room to be bashful when it comes to asking for what you want. I have had countless conversations with gal pals who accept their salary offers without negotiating, and hesitate to ask for more. I was granted with a natural ability to ask for what I want/need that has helped me face these scenarios with gusto. But I must confess that I have found myself having conversation with my male life partner (aka-husband) whee he is reminding me that I shouldnt be afraid to ask for more and I say, "Are you crazy I cant go in there asking for X amount of money!" or "No, I cant ask for that promotion." I notice this self doubt is a lot more present in the women I know that in then men that I know. At this point, I have almost become jealous of men's arrogance/delusions of grandeur

Now im not making a generalization about men and women, but I have a few scenarios that I think are contributing to the 57 cents to the dollars/ 75 cents to the dollar phenomenon...

• Women are accepting the first offer given to us from the beginning of our careers thus placing ourselves on the lower end of the pay scale for this job and the ones that will come after it.
• We are never negotiating our salary because we are too busy being thankful we were offerred a job to begin with.
• At some point the fields that became "female dominated" also became the ones that paid the least. I probably dont have enough time to discuss what's wrong with that statement.
• When we become mothers we start getting paid less because people perceive that mother's work less. This one irks me because it also assumes that women stop caring about everything when they have babies. I can tell you from all the fabulous mommies I have encountered that this is SO not the case.

Now in every case it seems that we women can help solve these issues by speaking up and asking for more and not accepting less than what we deserve. For those of you that are in decision making roles please remember that if we are not challenging the status quo we are doing a disservice to future generations.

The Art of Mentoring

Just came back from a much needed vacation. I have been pondering a lot on the art of mentoring and what it actually means.  This lead me to reminisce on the advice people have given me that I may have probably ignored or brushed aside. But there are tidbits of wisdom that have been given to me that have remained:

“When you fear something, face that fear. As that is what brings growth"
“Don’t change who you are for any job or any boss"
“You will always be someone's bitch"
“It’s all about internal marketing"

A very intelligent woman I know recently told me that there is a difference between life coaching and mentoring. Furthermore, she told me that she is very selective about who she mentors as she tends to become emotionally involved in their lives.  I realize that my ideal mentor-mentee relationship involves a mentor who guides the mentee along his/her desired path and helps them find their true vocation. However in my case, it becomes about preventing others from making the same mistakes I made and saving other from the pain and anguish I have suffered.  My lack of career role models meant that mom wasn’t there to tell me how to deal with difficult bosses, my cousin wasn’t there to make a phone call on my behalf.  Now I’m ALL about doing that for my family and given the intrusive nature of family. I'm sure at times my advice is unwanted and most definitely unsolicited.

Granted I’m still much more in the category of those who need mentoring rather than those who should be mentoring others. However, I’m starting to think that the question is more basic than how to mentor, but rather make sure your mentee is actually interested in your mentoring. The line between doling out helpful advice and being overbearing is a fine one. One that I’m still learning how to navigate especially with those who are in my family and close circle of friends.

My mother was a housekeeper when I was young and as my mother cleaned her home this woman took it upon herself to dole out advice to me about life and relationships.  It was totally unsolicited yet she made such a strong impression on my younger self.

My mom worked for her till I was in my late teens and eventually her own daughter was going off to college. Some of her advice such as go to school and don’t marry a man because you need him to provide for you, I have listened to. Other advice such as don’t get married before the age of 30, I didn’t listen to. That doesn’t mean she didn’t make an indelible mark in my life.  I hope that someday I can make that kind of impression on someone and that I have enough emotional distance to accept that not all of my advice will be followed.  

She told me that the hardest part of being a parent is learning when it’s time to let go. Although I am not a parent I think this applies to being a mentor at some point you have to let the kids go out into the world and make their own mistakes. Just make sure you let them know you will be there when their car gets towed for excessive parking tickets (Thanks Dad!)