Movie Review: What We Can Learn From Girl in Progress

Thanks to Latina Bloggers Connect I received an invitation to attend a screening of “Girl in Progress.”  It had been a long time since I was so moved by a film and so immediately invested in the characters.  The story demonstrates the complex nature of mother/daughter relationships but it also demonstrates how our relationships with family, friends and ourselves are constantly evolving.  Eva Mendez and Sierra Ramirez gave life to beautifully written characters under the direction of Patricia Riggen.  As a Latina I cannot help but feel incredibly proud of this movie, but the message it leaves the audience with transcends ethnic boundaries.

The movie focuses on a young girl and her desire to separate from her mother by eliciting her “coming of age” experience.  I promised this post would contain no spoilers so I won’t delve into too many details!  By the end both of the women in the film have made progress, but just like in real life, things aren’t perfect.

Looking back, I relate to the naïve precociousness of the daughter in the film. I once thought that life transitions could be uncomplicated and that the ties that bind us to those we love could be easily broken. I  thought that my “coming of age” would bring an end to the confusion, messiness and uncertainty of life. I now know that even when we have experienced our “coming of age” and have transitioned out of our adolescence we never stop learning and we never stop growing.  

This movie allowed the main characters to be flawed, vulnerable and even unlikeable at times which is a rarity these days. A lot of us struggle to achieve a false ideal of womanhood because we are afraid of the imperfections, and flaws lurking just underneath the polished exteriors we work so hard to maintain. I know many times I held my own mother to a very high standard and even now constantly berate myself for all of the things that I am not.

Living up to our own false expectations of what life should look like is sometimes the hardest thing to let go of. When we realize that we are never really complete, that there is never an end to our growth perhaps we will start to appreciate the beauty of being women in progress.

I for one know that I will always be a woman in progress. Watch the movie and you may have an epiphany of your very own.  Take your mom, your sister or your best friend, you won’t regret it.

Xoxo,

Betsy Aimee

Cinco De Mayo Special: Being Mexican is Awesome

Today is Cinco de Mayo and based on the promos and paraphernalia at Party City you would think that Mexican culture is all about Coronas, mustaches and sombreros. Well yes, those are elements of the culture. But there is definitely more to it than that! As a first generation Mexican-American (well technically i'm half as my mother is Guatemalan) I never felt the need to learn about my culture as it was all around me, in fact I spent a good part of my life trying to escape the elements of my culture I disliked or didn't identify with.Now that I am older I have learned to appreciate my Mexican side a lot more. Here are some reasons why Mexican women are awesome:

1) History of Strong Women- I really reject the notion that Mexican women are submissive and bow their heads to their men. Thus I had to search for different role models of what being a Mexican woman was all about and thanks to my mother I discovered Frida Kahlo.

Frida Kahlo: 

Frida sufferred a terrible accident at a young age that could have destroyed her spirit but her will to live, love and succeed was stronger than the pain she lived with as a result of the accident. She managed to seduce and marry Diego Rivera, a man who could have easily overpowered her physically and professionally. Even after his infidelities, Frida stayed true to herself and got even (watch the movie or read this book to know more), she wasn't afraid to live on her own terms, have controversial beliefs and be sexually liberated at a time when most women didn't dare to. While she loved Diego in the end her she got the last laugh as she eclipsed her famous husband and has become the most well-known and revered Mexican artist. LOVE HER!

Maria Felix: 

The biggest star of Mexico's Golden Age of Cinema, Mari Felix, was the Mexican Liz Taylor. She married 4 times, and always personified a strong, indomitable women on film and in real life. She also happened to be incredibly beautiful and proud of her Yaki Indian ancestry. She also wore Christian Dior and was featured in best dresses lists throughout the world.

Her personality and spirit are demonstrated in this quote: 

"I cannot complain about men. I have had tons of them and they have treated me fabulously well. But sometimes I had to hurt them to keep them from subjugating me."

2) Fearless Fashion Sense-Have you ever watched a Latin award show? Mexican women are not afraid to flaunt their curves and bring on the color and the bling. Look at Friday Kahlo and Maria Felix (above) does it look like they were afraid to accessorize?  Here's one of my favorite Mexican actresses, Jacqueline Bracamontes in Oscar De La Renta. She's the epitome of refinement on every occasion and she has the most amazing hair. It's also always great to see a red carper filled with with women that are not primarily thin, blondes. 

What do I wear on Cinco de Mayo? Now that you know why Mexican women are awesome. Here's a Cinco de Mayo Outfit for you to flaunt out on the town tonight! Notice the bold color in every piece and the statement necklace. The point is to incorporate elements of the colors associated with the Mexican flag, not to actually look like a flag. Of course these pieces are versatile enough to be worn after tonight too.  All of these items can be found at Forever21.com

So let's not forget that I was born and raised in the U.S and like any real American I will be celebrating Cinco de Mayo tonight with a shot of Tequila. Being bi-cultural provides you with SO many drinking opportunities. How do you observe the day? What are your favorite things about Mexican women? 

Feliz Cinco de Mayo! 

xoxo

Betsy Aimee 

Challenges for Millennial Women

This is a special post in honor of the Third Annual Blog for International Women’s Day, a day where bloggers, writers, and humanitarian organizations are asked to write about issues facing women and girls. 

International Women’s Day provides us with a great opportunity to celebrate the many things the women who came before us accomplished. But it is also a time to ponder on the many things we have yet to do..  Our world has seen very dramatic changes in the past 50 years and millennial women have reaped the benefits of the revolutions that occurred in the 60’s and 70’s. Yet we don’t have to go very far but to see that millennial women still have much ground to cover on the domestic and international fronts:

A Fair Work Place

·     I’m sure you know that the United States is one of the few industrialized nations that doesn’t provide Universal Paid Maternity Leave. This is only one of the many issues that affect women’s role in the workplace and is indicative of pay inequities that still exist in our country.  Clearly we are still struggling to integrate women with children into the workforce in an equitable way. Meanwhile, the stay-at home mommies and the work mommies are still struggling to find common ground. I hope millennial women figure out how we can all join forces so that women stop feeling like they have to choose one path over the other.

·      I’m also still alarmed at the pay inequities that exist among men and women and how this recession has disproportionately affected women. While it is great that more of us are taking on Graduate and Professional degrees during times of economic uncertainty it is unfair that we will be compensated differently once we enter the workforce. We have heard the numbers: 

• Women earn 77-85 (studies take into account certain factors to come up with the higher number) cents to every dollar a Man makes. If you are a woman of color this number is lower (Yay, for me). As if we needed more proof the most recent census revealed that women earn less per month than men at EVERY degree level.  We could go into details as to the why’s and the hows of this but either way it is something we need to examine further in the next few decades.

Slut Shaming (See next point)

Access to Basic Health Care
If you haven’t noticed it seems that health services that have played a big role in women’s lives, such as birth control, are still considered quite controversial. Just last week Rush Limbaugh caused an up roar when he declared that the Georgetown Student that testified in Congress about the importance of having access to birth control, was a “slut” and that her and all of the other Feminazi’s that want to government to pay for birth control should have to upload videos of the themselves having sex. Then a few weeks back Mr. Foster Friess (sp?) explained to renowned journalist Andrea Mitchell that in his day women would “put a Bayer aspiring between their legs for birth control” aka- Close your legs! Mr. Freeze was on television discussing his support for Presidential nominee, Rick Santoroum who was quoted as saying that “birth control is harmful to society.” Geez.

This is a challenge for millennial women because the way these things play out in our country is very indicative or where women stand in contemporary society. I know our mom’s and grandmothers tell us that “we just don’t know what it was like in the old days” and you know what? Thanks to all of their efforts we don’t, but we still have our own battles to fight. I can’t help but wonder if these political discussions would play out differently if Congress was 83% female, instead 83% male. Hmmm…This reminds me of my next point

Breaking the Glass Ceiling/s and/or denying there is still a Glass Ceiling to Break

Source: janluijk.nl via Catherine on Pinterest

Sometimes I feel like I’m living in parallel universes, on the one hand there is world declaring “the end of men” and telling me how men are falling behind on educational attainment. Yet on the other hand I see a world where I can only think a few female CEO’s and I see that many of the organizations that hold the power in our society are still very male dominated. This brings us into a larger discussion about whether or not women are failing to achieve seats of power because they don’t really want to be there, what Sheryl Sandberg called “the ambition gap” in her now famous (well famous among my colleagues) TED Talk. Others may argue that there are indeed true barriers to access. If such barriers exist are they institutional barriers? Or is it that women were not raised to have the characteristics needed to succeed in high level positions? I wish I had the answer to these questions. If I did there wouldn’t have been a need to list it as a challenge for millennial women. I will probably be wondering about this one for the rest of my life. This brings me to my next thought…

First World Problems

 I use the phrase “first world problems” when I am discussing a problem that can only happen in the life of someone who has their basic needs fully met. It’s also a reminder to myself that for a majority of women around the world, not having been selected to serve on a Board of Directors is a superfluous issue that does not compare to losing a child because you are unable to provide food or shelter, or because you are living in a place being ravaged by a war that was most likely started by men. (Sorry sometimes I make generalizations)
How will we continue to advance the rights of women and girls around the world to ensure that they are no longer casualties of famine, war and of the decisions made by those around them? Michelle Bachelet is one example of a bad-ass woman who is working to ensure that the next generation of women has a better chance at life. While it is important to work to advance ourselves, we must also remember our sisters around the world who could use our help and deserve a chance to pursue their own dreams and aspirations.


Ok so now that you are riled up let’s look at some organizations that are already working hard to solve these issues:    

• To Get HER There- Learn more about the issues affecting women and girls affect all of us and how we can develop the next generation of women leaders! 
• Women’s Media Center- Changing the public discourse on issues pertaining to women and girls 
• United Nations for Women- Learn more about how to help women around the world 
• 20 20 Campaign- Wrote about them before. Great organization working to increase diversity in our country’s board rooms. 
• Planned Parenthood Action Center- Don’t just get angry at Rush Limbaugh, Get Involved!

What do you think are the biggest challenges for Millennial women? 


Together we can make a difference!
Happy Women’s Day!
xoxo
Betsy Aimee

The Power of Many

Eastside Career Chic in Office A La Mode

I have some exciting news to share!  These past few days have just been great as I was fortunate enough to contribute to one of my favorites sites, The Daily Muse not once but twice! After that I was asked to contribute to another site I love that focuses on Empowering Latinas-New Latina. For someone who a few months ago just dreamed of being a writer this is a HUGE accomplishment.  I titled this post the power of many because so many of you have emailed me or mentioned that you have read my blog posts. Others of you have given me helpful feedback and assured me that this blog is a good idea. I thank you for everything!

I am also happy to report that my colleagues and I started a blog a few weeks ago and it has just been oodles of fun! After months of complimenting each others outfits we decided to start putting it out there for the world to see. We realized that we love our fashion bloggers but we just cannot imagine posting outfits on a daily basis like they do and besides our blog will have something for everyone as our styles and body types vary. I will be posting outfits in Office A La Mode every Tuesday. Here goes our contribution to the fashion blogging world. 

I can't wait to see where this goes.

Welcome to Office A La Mode! Click HERE to see more.

xoxo
Betsy Aime

This Blog Post Will Change Your Life!

Source: piccsy.com via Michelle on Pinterest

One of the best things that has happened since I started this blog is that I have found so many other sites and blogs that inspire and excite me. Every evening I come home and methodically click through my favorites bar. If you want to see some of my daily reads click here.

Of course 90 percent of my thoughts while I do this are something like this:

"Wow, she's so pretty. I wouldnt look that great in that outfit"
"Well she doesnt have a Full time job etc. like I do so that's why she looks that cute"
" I wish I could dedicate more time to being a "writer/blogger" so that I could incorporate all these great ideas I read on IFB into my blog

Then after a while I get tired and then just shut off the computer and say to myself,
"Now i'm too tired to blog"

Finding inspiration isn't hard for me, it's getting motivation to share what inspires me with others.
Here's a picture of my magazines which inspire me to find new outfits for the office!

I'm almost ashamed to admit this is only one months worth of glossy peridiocals. I have loved magazines since I was little girl. I think I was the only 11 year girl who read Seventeen Magazine and also played with paper dolls.

This week one of the sites I follow New Latina posted a question their site, "My ideal job would be _______"  I posted a response saying, " My ideal job would be to blog about careers and fashion"

Side Bar: My current job as a member of the women's rights movement isnt all that bad! But hey I am an overachiever so 2 careers would be awesome, and hopefully profitable.Besides I strongly feel that Gen Y (those born between 1980-1991) will have many careers and that the days of doing one job for the rest of your life are long gone. But that's a whole other topic for another day.

New Latina, asked me if I already had a blog or was thinking of starting one. I responded with the link to this blog and I was esctatic when New Latina posted my most recent blog post to their Facebook and Twitter! Woo hoo! That was exciting but it also made me ponder on why I just cant do what I claim I love to do on a more consistent basis. I have blogged about this in the past and have discussed this phenomenon with others.

The creative mind behind New Latina, Angelica Perez-Litwin is a great example of doing what you love and sharing your gifts with others. She is utilizing her psychology background to motivate other women and at the same time has created a platform of self expression for other women trying to share their "gift" with the world.

What does it mean to "share your gift." It sounds incredibly self-help-ish (yes, I just made up a word) but your "gift" is that unique talent you possess, that perspetive on life, fashion, music, politics, etc. that can only come from you.

(Speaking of gifts, looks this adorable wrapping paper)

Source: junelily.com via Flo on Pinterest

For example, to the naked eye, most fashion and beauty blogs might appear to be the same but  according to this Ted Talk on how to have a successful blog it is that unique perspective on trends and fashion that others connect with and makes them want to come back to your blog.

I hope you feel some connection to the thoughts I share here and that's why you are reading this blog. If that's the case then you should suscribe or comment! (or maybe it's just because you are my friend or my family member)

At the end of her talk she cites this quote by T.S Eliot that she shares at the end:"Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.”

The blogger who did this TED Talk, Andy Torres of Style Scrapbook found herself unemployed after moving to Europe to pursue her dreams of being a designer and then realized that her true gift was to take runaway looks and make them relatable for the everyday woman and now has an incredibly successful webiste and career as a stylist.

Now dont tell me you dont think you have gift. We all have a gift and even if you dont know immediately what it is, part of our challenge is to find out what it is. If you havent found it already now is the time to start looking. But in order to do so we must take a risk and get out there and find it.

If we reallly want to change our lives we need to get out there and find our gift!
How many of you have things that inspire you? How are you sharing your gifts with the world? Where do you find the motivation to do what you love?  If you start searching today I will guarantee this post will change your life and if in Steve Jobs case he radically changed the lives of others in the process.

xoxo

Betsy Aimee.

In Between Two Cultures in a Halfway Changed World

In Latino culture we are taught to appreciate what we are given and not demand too much. I see this everyday with my extended family " Be grateful for what you have mija" ,  "It's so great the Cousin (Blank) is making 17 dollars per hour. I should probably not be upset if i'm overlooked for a promotion and that I sure as hell shouldnt be marching in there asking the boss for a raise. I realize that in these tough economic times we should be GRATEFUL for what we have. But as the wonderful, accomplished women that we are, we should also value our work and the fact that on most days we go above and beyond the call of duty.

Given that I am a woman who also happens to be a first generation American Latina I wonder where that leaves me... I am  in between two cultures but I am also living in a world where women have made great strides, yet still make less money than men. How is this even possible?  At this point it must mean that women who are in positions of power are paying women less than men for performing the same work. This is equally puzzling because then it must mean that indeed men possess certain traits that are more favorable to success in the workplace.

Even more depressing is the fact that Latinas make about 57 cents for every dollar a man makes! This means that there's really no room to be bashful when it comes to asking for what you want. I have had countless conversations with gal pals who accept their salary offers without negotiating, and hesitate to ask for more. I was granted with a natural ability to ask for what I want/need that has helped me face these scenarios with gusto. But I must confess that I have found myself having conversation with my male life partner (aka-husband) whee he is reminding me that I shouldnt be afraid to ask for more and I say, "Are you crazy I cant go in there asking for X amount of money!" or "No, I cant ask for that promotion." I notice this self doubt is a lot more present in the women I know that in then men that I know. At this point, I have almost become jealous of men's arrogance/delusions of grandeur

Now im not making a generalization about men and women, but I have a few scenarios that I think are contributing to the 57 cents to the dollars/ 75 cents to the dollar phenomenon...

• Women are accepting the first offer given to us from the beginning of our careers thus placing ourselves on the lower end of the pay scale for this job and the ones that will come after it.
• We are never negotiating our salary because we are too busy being thankful we were offerred a job to begin with.
• At some point the fields that became "female dominated" also became the ones that paid the least. I probably dont have enough time to discuss what's wrong with that statement.
• When we become mothers we start getting paid less because people perceive that mother's work less. This one irks me because it also assumes that women stop caring about everything when they have babies. I can tell you from all the fabulous mommies I have encountered that this is SO not the case.

Now in every case it seems that we women can help solve these issues by speaking up and asking for more and not accepting less than what we deserve. For those of you that are in decision making roles please remember that if we are not challenging the status quo we are doing a disservice to future generations.